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Making movies is hard to do, especially if you’re damn near broke. Still, that didn’t stop Robert Townsend who hooked up with a few of his friends to create a modern classic. Hollywood Shuffle, a funny, but scathing look at 1980’s Hollywood treatment of Black actors and Black themes, was financed on Townsend’s credit cards — an amazing feat, especially now since NO ONE can get credit. That’s why Robert Townsend’s Hollywood Shuffle made our list of the 100 Greatest Black Power Moves.

Not only did Hollywood have some big comedy stars — including icon Paul Mooney and Franklin Ajaye — but it launched the careers of major talent like Keenan and Damon Wayans, John Witherspoon and Anne-Marie Johnson all who went on to star in features like In Living Color, Friday and I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.

In the end, Townsend’s classic did what so few do. Instead of just complaining about Hollywood, he literally did something about it by creating a new Black Hollywood himself.

We assume that like us, you’re very attractive and have had your fair share of stalkers, right? Sure you have.

Well, like us, you too can now get expert advice on how to avoid these unwanted guests through magic miracle of movies. Did you know that some movies are written by people with real-life experiences that may be like your own? We didn’t either, but we’ve done the research.

Now thanks to our research we can offer a selection of movies that will help with your romantic issues.

Asunder
FRIDAY AT 10pm (ET)
Has this Happened to You: After your good friend loses his spouse and child in a horrific ferris wheel accident, you take him into your home only to become the object of his homicidal obsession.
Stalker Behavior: There’s lots of tell-tale signs – trying to kill your husband, murderous fits and lots of screaming. However, one of the biggest signs that the man in your life may be a stalker is when he comes into YOUR house and starts quoting I Love Lucy. See below:

Fatal Attraction
Has this Happened to You: The wife and kid are out of town and you decide to have a quick fling with a woman you met at work.
Stalker Behavior: Before she starts tossing your pets into the crock pot or turning your BMW into a human-sized scratching post, you should pay close attention to the voice mails she’s leaving. If any of them sound like the one below, you should get out of dodge immediately. Click and listen below:

Misery
Has this Happened to You: You’re a successful writer who’s car breaks down in the middle of nowhere when your rescued by a reclusive maniac who doesn’t like your last book.
Stalker Behavior: First, you should be afraid of any grown woman who uses the word “cockadoodie.” Second, if your small request for paper sends her into a scary rage, you might want to find a way out of the house — quick. Watch below:

When you’re watching Strictly Business this weekend (Saturday at 9pm [ET]), I want you to remember that this film that changed the lives of Black women every where. It was the beginning of the Berry-era, where like death and taxes, Halle Berry’s sexiness would no longer be questioned by any man – boyfriends, brothers and husbands everywhere are willingly under her spell. Watch the trailer for Business here.

One could make the argument that the Berry-era should have started with Berry’s debut role in Jungle Fever. True. And what most men won’t admit is that while watching Berry play a drug addict, they were secretly thinking — “Damn, that crack-head is fine!”

So how does Berry preserve her sexy while taking on various roles and fending off the constant barrage of upcoming starlets? I’m guessing some sort of Hollywood kryptonite, or perhaps, magic. But to be sure I had to do some research into the roles that kept Berry an icon of hotness.

Boomerang (1992)
Role: Angela Lewis
Sexy Factor (1-10): 7. Despite this being one of her most famous roles, Berry was actually the “good girl” vs. Givens’ vamped-up character. Still, her wholesomeness was still . . . hot.
Competition: Robin Givens, Tisha Campbell and Lela “Sunshine” Rochon
WATCH: Halle gives you cute and bilingual in this hilarious scene.

Swordfish (2000)
Role: Ginger Knowles
Sexy Factor (1-10): 8. After years and years of waiting, Halle Berry revealed the one thing men everywhere had been waiting for. Actually, the two things they had been waiting for. While some hated on her decision to go topless, Berry earned an extra $500,000 for the role.
WATCH: No, it’s not THAT scene, but here is Halle macking it down with Hugh Jackman.

Die Another Day (2001)
Role: Jinx
Sexy Factor (1-10): 10. Slow motion was created for two reasons and two reasons alone; 1. To playback really good plays during a sporting event.
2. To watch Halle Berry come out of the water in that orange bathing suit, shaking her hips like a hoola-hoop.
WATCH: See the trailer for Die Another Day right here.

QUESTION: Is Halle still Black Hollywood’s sexiest woman?